man, this resonates. I also grew up "ugly" and though I like how I look most of the time now (I think we all grow into our looks a bit as we get older and more confident), there's still part of me that notices a feature that I have that I got made fun of for in middle school (by someone who was my "friend"), mind you. But... that's just what I look like. Who's to say if that's ugly or attractive or whatever? Does it even matter? Thank you for sharing these thoughts, I loved reading them!
Thank you for reading! I agree, we all grow into our looks and our confidence plays a huge role, and that 180 degree spin from insecurity to acceptance has a lot of nuance to it. That's why I love the body neutrality narrative that has been going around lately - there's not just 'ugly' and 'beautiful', we're allowed to live in the in-between and not (feel the need to) label ourselves all the time. We just exist this way!
I can relate to much of this. Let's just say I'm glad social media wasn't around when I was an adolescent. I'm guessing she didn't mean any harm when she said "that's just what you look like" but yeah, I wouldn't want to hear that either. But from a purely logical perspective, there is no factual objectivity to a photo. There's so many factors that go into it like lighting, angle, makeup, etc. That's why candid photos of celebrities look completely different from the photos you see on the cover of magazines to the point of being unrecognizable. It's all an illusion really.
So true! I find it really interesting in how many ways the idea of “that’s just what you look like” can be interpreted. I’m sure she meant it as in, ‘your features aren’t ugly or hideous or wrong, they’re just your features.’ Which still strikes me to this day, because it’s such a simple idea and yet, like you say, we seem unable to take it as it is anymore. Although it’s difficult, this is the way I’d like to look at myself.
it’s been so long!!! so happy to see a new post from you. reading this reminded me how much i love your style. such an amazing piece. delicate, heavy, and still so fluid to read.
man, this resonates. I also grew up "ugly" and though I like how I look most of the time now (I think we all grow into our looks a bit as we get older and more confident), there's still part of me that notices a feature that I have that I got made fun of for in middle school (by someone who was my "friend"), mind you. But... that's just what I look like. Who's to say if that's ugly or attractive or whatever? Does it even matter? Thank you for sharing these thoughts, I loved reading them!
Thank you for reading! I agree, we all grow into our looks and our confidence plays a huge role, and that 180 degree spin from insecurity to acceptance has a lot of nuance to it. That's why I love the body neutrality narrative that has been going around lately - there's not just 'ugly' and 'beautiful', we're allowed to live in the in-between and not (feel the need to) label ourselves all the time. We just exist this way!
I can relate to much of this. Let's just say I'm glad social media wasn't around when I was an adolescent. I'm guessing she didn't mean any harm when she said "that's just what you look like" but yeah, I wouldn't want to hear that either. But from a purely logical perspective, there is no factual objectivity to a photo. There's so many factors that go into it like lighting, angle, makeup, etc. That's why candid photos of celebrities look completely different from the photos you see on the cover of magazines to the point of being unrecognizable. It's all an illusion really.
So true! I find it really interesting in how many ways the idea of “that’s just what you look like” can be interpreted. I’m sure she meant it as in, ‘your features aren’t ugly or hideous or wrong, they’re just your features.’ Which still strikes me to this day, because it’s such a simple idea and yet, like you say, we seem unable to take it as it is anymore. Although it’s difficult, this is the way I’d like to look at myself.
it’s been so long!!! so happy to see a new post from you. reading this reminded me how much i love your style. such an amazing piece. delicate, heavy, and still so fluid to read.
thank you so so much 🥹 I really missed being present on here and interacting with everybody.
Welcome back, I’ve missed you ✨
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lovely writing and lovely reminder to not judge yourself too harshly. this piece is exactly what i needed today
I’m glad it found you :)